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Tipping the Karma Jar: Sympathy for the Hypocrite

  • October 22, 2018
  • Travis Bryant, Jr.
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There are so many shortcomings in the world. But there are a few that just make me want to talk to myself. And even the “self” that I’m trying to process with— even he be confused. I consider myself a patient man by most standards, but there is just that one person with this one trait that really grinds my gears.

And you know exactly what I’m talking about. For me, it’s that person who can’t seem to follow simple instructions. Some of us know several “persons” who fit this description. Maybe they are a relative or a friend of a friend. Maybe an ex who became an ex for this very reason. Maybe kids you can’t return for a refund. Maybe it’s you. If so, we (here at Enterpersonal) love and care about you deeply…

……

I’m sorry. It just really turns my gears. It’s not you, it’s me….

But to be clear, it’s me because of you.

GEEZ LOUISE WITH TEXAS TOAST!!! Simple. Instructions. I know you can do it. You TOLD me you can do it.
Then you didn’t. And when I very politely (albeit colorful) point out how your inconsistency is aging me prematurely, then I’m the wrong one. JUST DO WHAT YOU SAID YOU WOULD DO!!!

I have digressed. I’m sorry (again). It just really turns my tonsils, you know?

Then I thought about it. We are all guilty of being this person at one time or another. We expect perfect execution and reasonable communication. I know I do. But it’s easy to forget that on any given day, we can become our own pet peeves. Luckily, ( fate?) I have a wife who makes it her mission to notify me of when I become mine. Yay, me.

For those who know me, I hate repeating myself after explaining things so thoroughly the first time. After all, I only make reasonable requests. I only ask for things that make sense. I make it so easy, so simple, that there is no reason that I should have to say the SAME things over and over again.

Then, I got married.

……

First, I want to apologize to everyone I ever snapped at for not following simple instructions. I also want to apologize, while I’m here, for not taking your excuses seriously and for not being more patient with your shortcomings. We all forget sometimes, don’t follow through sometimes, and I should have been more sensitive; because this is probably the third time today my wife has asked me to do “something”. And this is probably the third time I agreed and said that I would. And this is the first time, after the first three times of doing just the opposite, that threats are being used to get me to do what I already agreed to do but still haven’t done.

She made a reasonable request. The thing she asked for makes sense. She made it so easy, so simple, that there is no reason that she should have to say the SAME thing over and over again. The irony is not lost on me. I now want someone to give me a pass, or at least some measure of compassion, for coming up short.

For being human.

So, the next time someone comes up a bit short or shows levels of inconsistency that make you cringe, remember, we all get a turn at being irrationally irresponsible.

I know you are perfect. So am I.

But remember to deposit a bit of patience and compassion in the karma jar. You know, just in case.

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Travis Bryant, Jr.

Travis Bryant Jr, author of Dating Intervention: Do's and Don'ts to Dodge Disaster, does interpersonal consulting for TouchKC, LLC. He has worked with countless families over the last 15 years in his mission to create and rejuvenate interpersonal and intrapersonal health through various platforms and services. Currently, Travis lives in Kansas City, MO with his wife and two daughters while finishing his master's degree in Marriage and Family Therapy.

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