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The Birthday Blues: How to Make Your Day Special

  • June 26, 2019
  • Travis Bryant, Jr.
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So, it’s your birthday again.

Candles, cakes, and social media birthday wishes…people mean well…but their congratulations just deepen your depression. You don’t feel like there is much to celebrate. Goals you wanted to achieve were left undone. Projects you wanted to fulfill still aren’t completely finished. Mr./Mrs. Right has yet to show themselves. You don’t mean to be a Debbie-downer—you just saw yourself so much further along than you are right now. And the only person to blame is you.

You know what?

You have a point.  There are things you wanted to accomplish that didn’t get finished this year. The apex you imagined seems even further away than it did last year. Maybe you feel alone, or this is the first birthday you have spent with without a loved one. But there are three points of contention that I must present, and hopefully, it will help you appreciate your special day.

Zoom Out

Whitney WolfHard, who was featured in Forbes “30 under 30” issue in 2017 has an amazing quote:

“Life is about perspective and how you look at something…ultimately, you have to zoom out.”

 

Could it be that you only see yourself as a failure because you are completely focused on your shortcomings from last year…instead of the progress you have made, and the strides you have accomplished? It is so easy to allow thoughts of urgency to make you feel as if you are defeated, as if you have not done enough. You are not defeated, you are PERFECTING.  But if you are so focused on how far you have to go, you really can’t appreciate how far you have come.

It’s YOUR Day…Cry If You Want To

As I’m writing this, today is actually my birthday. I’ve deleted Messenger and the social media apps from my phone. I’m not really answering phone calls, and am still in my underwear. I’m not in the best of moods and really not up for company. My skin is ashy, my hair is unkempt, and I don’t smell the freshest.

And you know what?

That is PERFECTLY fine. It’s YOUR day. Maybe you want to have a huge party. Great! Maybe you want to just take time to reflect by a body of water somewhere. GREAT! Maybe you just want to binge watch that t.v show you have been neglecting. Whatever you WANT to do…do it. It’s your day. Don’t let people define it for you. Don’t spend the day trying to appease other people. On this day, on this one special day that occurs once every 12 months…just do YOU. There is no wrong way to celebrate. Just be safe and keep in mind…

It’s just a day.

Soon it will be over. Tomorrow comes quickly, where your dreams are EXACTLY where you left them. Maybe you feel depressed because your birthday didn’t go as planned. Maybe you are upset because you wished you would have done something different, something more spectacular. Maybe you did EVERYTHING you wanted to, and it was the best birthday EVER!

Either way, tomorrow comes. It’s waiting for you. You still got things to do, goals to exceed, money to make. Don’t worry.

There’s always next year.

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Travis Bryant, Jr.

Travis Bryant Jr, author of Dating Intervention: Do's and Don'ts to Dodge Disaster, does interpersonal consulting for TouchKC, LLC. He has worked with countless families over the last 15 years in his mission to create and rejuvenate interpersonal and intrapersonal health through various platforms and services. Currently, Travis lives in Kansas City, MO with his wife and two daughters while finishing his master's degree in Marriage and Family Therapy.

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